I had originally planned to go dancing tonight but age - no, rather, maturity and a desire to do some professional housekeeping and reflection kept me cosy in my room, eating carrots and dip (ok, I confess I had a notable amount of dill pickle and sour cream & onion chips prior to these!) and listening to tracks from Tori Kelly’s latest album.  

As I began doing a re-cap of 2018 in numbers, I thought I wouldn’t have much to show.  While I have been far happier as a full time freelancer than I was in my last year or two of a desk job that stole my joy and my health, it is an existence that more often than not makes me feel as though nothing is really being built: no fortune, no fame, nothing that the world considers a marker of success.

Surprisingly, when I did count the things that could be counted, there was much more than I had remembered, and each thing I counted was more than simply a checkmark or a goal reached, but an unfolding of my person, and, I hope, the mission which has been entrusted to me by God.

So here is 2018, by the numbers:

Firsts: 13

In meticulously combing through my calendar I realized that while this felt like a quiet year (with the exception of Fame), it was in fact a year where I did many things for the first time.

As mentioned, this was my first full year as a freelancer and the work included my first time:

Cantoring at a major basilica (St Patrick’s),

dancing & working on a major American movie set (Midway),

writing and preparing dramatic sketches for staff training with the Cree school board,

singing for a major corporate gig out of town

being a musical guest on a TV program at Concordia

And of course, there was Fame.  

I wrote a great deal on it before here and here so I won’t repeat myself but I cannot tell you just how much it meant to finally experience a life long dream.  Not only was it an artistically incredible experience, but it was a reassurance that I hadn’t been foolish in pursuing performance in the first place, that I could not only handle a lead role in a large scale professional musical (and finally be paid - this was only the 2nd time!) but that I could do it with almost no preparation time and be trusted to step into some very large shoes (Marie-Denise might say that large shoes were part of the problem: je continue a lui souhaiter la guérison et l’amour!)  

Daniel Ouimet was kind enough to give me an honourable mention in writing up his musical theatre "coups de coeur" for 2018, with Fame being named as best French musical, and castmates Jordan Donoghue and Marie-Denise Pelletier recognized as revelation of the year and best female actor, respectively, and a nod to Serge Postigo as well, as director.

Check out Marie-Denise's tour dates here on her website!

At this point, I am trying to figure out how much performance will play a part in my future.  

Do I keep actively pursuing auditions?

Is that the right place to put my energy?

While Fame was a major breakthrough, I, for the most part, have always seemed to experience near misses for major productions and often been the “wrong age” for everything.  At 20 years old I was told I played way older than 20 and so couldn’t be considered for 19 year old Sophie in Mamma Mia. This year I was told that I looked too young to play 40 for the moms in Dear Evan Hansen.  Despite not booking the job, this was my favourite audition of the year, with the longest callback I’ve ever had.  The casting team worked intensely with me; I think I spent a total of two and a half hours between the two auditions. It’s exhausting to be told no so often but I do feel that I can now handle rejection with more peace because what I am after no longer feels impossible because it is something that I have never reached.

It’s important to be grateful and realistic because it is entirely possible that Fame may be the only opportunity of that kind that I will ever receive...but it couldn’t have been more perfect.  

And, I’m finally a UdA member!

2018 also marked my first:

visit to a synagogue for Purim

niece (a month old today!),

first time making challah bread, cinnamon rolls and hosting Xmas dinner,

as well as first time getting accupuncture, doing a Blanket Exercise to learn about indigenous history, hosting a Christian Artists Wine & Cheese night, (a prelude to the retreat this March) and online dating: my only regret!!

Jobs: 10

(This number refers to ongoing work  as opposed to individual gigs.)  Amazingly, all of these jobs save three were artistically related, and the three that weren’t artistic in nature I obtained through contacts in the arts.  Singing and teaching took most of my time: two church music jobs, 6 - 10 voice students over the course of the year, and a variety of funerals, weddings, private parties, corporate gigs, and subbing as a choir conductor and for children’s theatre classes.

Shows: 16

This included 3 shows on Broadway, including Hello Dolly with the legendary Bernadette Peters

 an Andrea Bocelli concert,

and the homegrown success of Come From Away in Toronto, a gift from my parents.

The other things that can’t be so easily categorized but deserve a mention are: the scene study classes I attended through the Centaur, the How to Succeed in Music Theatre Conference in Toronto held by the CMTWC,

the inaugural Musical Theatre Writers’ Workshop class in Montreal that I helped organize (also through CMTWC and taught by Jonathan Monro), within which I've written lyrics for two new songs with Graham Isaak and Sara Wunsch; a record number of duets/collaborations for gigs and Broadway Cafe, a trip to DC to see my goddaughter, being asked to be godmother for a second time, and guest lecturing at McGill for the Intro to Catholicism class again.

Most important of all, though, is this : it is well with my soul.

 I am being built.

At the end of my life, it will be me facing God, and He will not care about my CV or my bank account or my stats, only my heart.

Hey everyone!

Fame finished off beautifully, if far too quickly. Even though most reviewers had come at the beginning of the run, I was fortunate enough that two people were able to review my performance/do a follow up article:

Natalie Katinakis:

Critique : “Fame'' au Théâtre St-Denis de Montréal

And Daniel Ouimet:

Entrevue avec Alisha Ruiss : le petit miracle de la comédie musicale «FAME»

Both have written wonderfully supportive things in the past - thanks so much to you both!

My next big project is the Montreal Christian Performing Artists and Writers Retreat, which will be held the final weekend in October.

More to come on that soon but if you want information or are interested in attending, please email [email protected]

Before that though, I'm excited to be singing at duet with the gorgeous and talented Gabrielle Fontaine at the opening Broadway Cafe of the Segal season on Sept 8th!   Hope to see you there!

Someone tell me, when is it my turn?

It was one of those calls you hear happens in show business.  The kind you hope for but also can’t really imagine might actually happen to you.  But then, miraculously, it does, and suddenly, you are living a dream you thought might remain only a dream.

Last Tuesday night, I was up at a late hour, as per usual, viewing multiple interviews with Liza Minnelli about her mother, Judy Garland.  Before turning in, the very last video I watched was a performance of Rose’s Turn by Bernadette Peters at the 2003 Tony Awards.

The song had come up in discussion with friend Michael Cooper as one that should be on my list, and I had just had the blessing of seeing Bernadette in person in Hello Dolly the week before, on Broadway; she was, of course, wonderful.  (Many thanks to dear friend Nathan Madden, who covers various roles in the show, who took me backstage while I was there!)

I got my answer to the song’s question the following morning at 9 am in the form of a text and then phone call from Serge Postigo, director of the Just For Laugh’s Theatricals french production of Fame. He wasted no time in painting the picture for me, that Marie-Denise Pelletier, the actress playing Ms Sherman - a role I had auditioned for the previous year - had injured herself and was not able to continue the run.  Would I be willing to learn the show and perform in it the next day?

It was probably the quickest yes I ever gave.

Starting here, starting now

Following the yes was a flurry of calls and emails: the script, the music, videos of the show, cuts since the music wouldn’t be in right away.  The costume designer kindly came to my apt to take my measurements. I crammed the lines into my head as much as possible - thankfully, one of the scenes permitted/called for a clipboard, which allowed me a reference for some lines -  wrote down the stage directions and in the evening was at the theatre, meeting the team and the cast to rehearse for about 5 hours. The next morning, the stage manager came to my apartment to run lines, and then we went to the theatre to rehearse again before going into performance at 19h30.

You either got it, or you ain't

And...I DID IT.  People ask me how.  The answer: the grace of God and an amazing team.  This cast and crew is friendly and incredibly supportive - not to mention talented! - doing everything from buying me orange juice & protein bars, to running lines, showing me how to do my makeup, and guiding me around the stage for the dance party of a curtain call.

Amazingly, I had far fewer nerves than I’ve had in the past several years for performances that were far more prepared.  I suppose it was because I didn’t allow myself time to be nervous. I had no choice but to deliver and any energy that wasn’t going strictly into preparation was going to make what was a steep climb impossible.  I also managed to get through 6 performances before fatigue set in; I slept until 4:30 pm on the first dark day we had, this past Monday!

Hold your hats and hallelujah

Some of you know the story of my past year which has been full of many challenges.  I’ll spare the details in this post but after I accepted my first audition date for Fame in late Aug 2017, I cried.  I had recently been to the hospital. I didn’t even know if I would be able to make it to the audition venue without a headache, fainting, or throwing up.  I didn’t know if I would be able to sing at all - or even stand in heels long enough to do so.  I think I said an entire Rosary while waiting to go in front of the panel that day.  It was a miracle to get through it.

The timing of this is also incredible, given that my plans were to be either in NYC or DC last weekend, or originally, in France, all of which were shifted for various circumstances.  My schedule was fairly open as I had decided at the beginning of this year that I would no longer sing without being paid. See my post on that here: https://alisharuiss.com/on-not-doing-a-show/

I’m sure that my ability to say yes, and trust that it would work out, is a result of the peace and trust God has built into me over the past year.  Fittingly, the solo song I sing in the show is a prayer of thanks...a song I am still learning, both in life and for this show.

I’m so grateful for this experience, and will be praying for Marie Denise Pelletier’s quick healing!

For tickets to Fame: https://www.hahaha.com/fr/show/fame-la-comedie-musicale